Manchester welcomed back it's official olympic and paralympic athletes today with a reception and celebration at manchester's albert square right behind the town hall. it was bloody cold and my back started to concertina as well as my balance beginning to malfunction, jim, but this is a consequence of me standing in the same spot for more than an hour. used to be able to do that. can't now. freakin' unfairness, thy name is blazed across the leaden manchester skies! as were the fireworks concluding the evening. i love firework displays, yet i hate the public buying them, as the public has it's fair share of tossers and every bonfire-night morning after we read about the casualties caused by idiocy and thoughtlessness. who chucks fireworks about like a gorilla flinging it's faeces from it's confines? tossers, that's who. and in stockport they really ought to rename 'guy fawkes night' as 'banger up a cat's arse night'. every late summer evening when i hear the first distant pop signalling the first banger of the season i groan inwardly, and a thousand felines get sweaty paws. and anuses.
still it was good to see chris hoy, that other girl with alopecia...is it joanne trott?...and the divine sarah storey who's birthday it was and was serenaded by a truly lousy rendition of 'happy birthday'. not as creepy as the beatles or the residents, but there you go. and she's a season ticket holder at old trafford. go girl!
Friday 26 October 2012
Wednesday 19 September 2012
WORST FILM EVER!
What, in your opinion is the worst film ever? evryone has their own particular hatred zone for a big-budget bellend of a blockbuster (ok, for example, i LOATHE the 'godfather' films, which everyone else seems to think are some kind of touchstone for cinematic nirvana. to me they are a complete and utter and reprehensible whitewash of cosa nostra; they were given the thumbs up by the mafia and wholeheartedly embraced by them as excellent PR, and the first one in theis trilogy of turds was allowed to be filmed in little italy in NYC, the heartland of the 5 families, by none other than carlo gambino, the de facto capo di tutti capi). one acquaintance of the past told me i was a dick for not basking in the cold rays of this alleged masterpiece; as if i had just criticised beethoven's ninth * as "a bleedin' racket that wasn't a patch on dubstep". ok, i digress. but the point is all genuflect to this tawdry whitewash of a film. i do not. it is a steaming pile of shite in my 'umble opinion, and as for it's 2 sequels- well, i cannot think of them without wanting to retch. incidentally that acquaintance became no more than that; for someone with that little integrity he was cast aside into the chasm that await all who are easily impressed- keith lemon fans come to mind.
anyone who wishes to register an abomination is welcome to do so. i have researched quite a few of the baddest of the bad, many of which are readily available on the internet as they have passed into what the americans so sweetly call 'the public domain', that is the copyright (artistic, legal) has run out on them and they can be watched or downloaded for free. though having watched them i can confide that is a mixed blessing at best.
* best symphony of all time? if you ignore gorecki's third, of course.
What, in your opinion is the worst film ever? evryone has their own particular hatred zone for a big-budget bellend of a blockbuster (ok, for example, i LOATHE the 'godfather' films, which everyone else seems to think are some kind of touchstone for cinematic nirvana. to me they are a complete and utter and reprehensible whitewash of cosa nostra; they were given the thumbs up by the mafia and wholeheartedly embraced by them as excellent PR, and the first one in theis trilogy of turds was allowed to be filmed in little italy in NYC, the heartland of the 5 families, by none other than carlo gambino, the de facto capo di tutti capi). one acquaintance of the past told me i was a dick for not basking in the cold rays of this alleged masterpiece; as if i had just criticised beethoven's ninth * as "a bleedin' racket that wasn't a patch on dubstep". ok, i digress. but the point is all genuflect to this tawdry whitewash of a film. i do not. it is a steaming pile of shite in my 'umble opinion, and as for it's 2 sequels- well, i cannot think of them without wanting to retch. incidentally that acquaintance became no more than that; for someone with that little integrity he was cast aside into the chasm that await all who are easily impressed- keith lemon fans come to mind.
anyone who wishes to register an abomination is welcome to do so. i have researched quite a few of the baddest of the bad, many of which are readily available on the internet as they have passed into what the americans so sweetly call 'the public domain', that is the copyright (artistic, legal) has run out on them and they can be watched or downloaded for free. though having watched them i can confide that is a mixed blessing at best.
* best symphony of all time? if you ignore gorecki's third, of course.
Tuesday 18 September 2012
Well, the start of any journey always begins with one step, said my uncle sergei, who was tragically killed when he trod on a landmine. how does one write about things that one knows so little about? well, it's never stopped the journalists at 'the sun' so bearing that in mind i shall start where the old blog on youtube (which has been transcribed and is now available on poorly xeroxed paper at furtive meetings of various underclasses of societal dregs) left off; though hopefully without the threats of prosecution/death. there may be tears, laughter, enlightenment- there equally may be the moonlit glint of a knifeblade, and the sound of running feet on the wet cobblestones competing with the ambient wail of sirens. as stated earlier, donations are very welcome; either in the form of hard cash or especially in the form of blank cheques. i am a man of modest means, as a great mancunian once said, or should that read slender? either way, dig deep.
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